Reba the Lizard Queen: Chapter 2
by Quinten Sager –
Reba marched her way into the upper floor meeting room of the public library. Shmebulon booked the same room every week for their AARP meetings, the Alien Association of Reptilian Pride, not to be confused with the American Association of Retired Peoples. That being said, Shmebulon was a proud member of both.
“Eeeeughlurg!” Ooblek vocalized, his ooze wiggling like happy jello.
“It’s about time, Reba. We have new members!” announced a young looking brunette. Norvinalexa preferred the younger, hotter models instead of the elderly women Reba impersonated. From her extensive stay on earth, Reba learned that few humans struck as much fear, awe, and sympathy as old biddies. Norvinalexa, however, believed that seduction was the path to power. In fact, anytime a politician got caught up in a scandal that involved a young girl, or boy for that matter, they were most likely Norvinalexa in a disguise.
Reba glaced into the crowd — a whole six members not including herself. She noticed one girl with green eyes and luxurious caramel hair. A sweet familiar smell hung around her, the scent of the ethereal, but it had been so long since Reba had actually come into contact with one of them. She thought of her beautiful palace, and glowing markets where creatures from all over the universe would shop.
“Reeeebaaaah! Can we have our food already?” Shmebulon droned.
“Oh of course, dearies!” Reba shuffled to the table and set out the morning feast for all the hungry members. Like ravenous pigs set out to eat the slop laid before them, the members new and old wasted no time. Reba sat down at the head of the table and slowly sipped on her iced coffee. She studied the members of the group, especially the three new members, and noticed that they all appeared to be in their teens. Reba glanced down at her own appearance and wonder if maybe an upgrade was in order. She reached for her necklace and fiddled with the gem once more.
With a shimmer of light, the Queen of England departed and in her place sat a seventeen year old girl. Fair skin, dark hair, with piercing yellow eyes, all in all her instagram got an upgrade. Reba McEntire, eat your heart out. The new members seemed quite confused, but the older members were used to shifting in front of each other.
“Oh, look who finally joined the twenty-first century,” Norvinalexa teased in between sips of her coffee.
“No need to be harsh, dearie,” Reba was stunned, “Is that my new voice? I sound so young!”
“And you still speak like an old woman. Anywho, can we get on with official group business today?” Norvinalexa had an affinity for business.
“Oh yes! Welcome new members to the Alien Association of Reptilian Pride, also known as the AARP, but you do not have to be a reptile in order to join the club! My name is Reba, and I am the old queen of the Martians! She/her pronouns would be preferred.” Reba gestured to the rest of the group as they all introduced themselves. The new members had difficulty understanding Oobleck’s dialect, but with time they’d learn to understand.
A young boy with a beanie toyed with a donut before clearing his throat and breaking the silence, “I’m actually not an alien… I’m just here for my friend Ziggy.” He gestured to the edgy female to his right. Of course she was an alien, no normal human had that much edge.
“Oh dearie! We love a good alien ally!” Reba clapped her hands vigorously, “We hope you bring many other friends to the AARP. Our mission statement is the peaceful coexistence of humanity and their alien counterparts.”
“Aren’t you the one who wants the reptiles to take over?” Norvinalexa raised an eyebrow.
“That’s only if the AARP fails in its mission statement!” Reba chuckled dismissing such a silly question, “Today we are going to play a series of bonding games! How about some euchre?”
A series of groans filled the meeting room, but Reba fished out a deck of cards from her purse. The group formed into teams and rearranged themselves accordingly.
“Reba, not to be a buzzkill, but I don’t …” Ziggy was interrupted by a series of shattering windows, and dozens of people in yellow suits labeled “AHF” in large black letters. Guns were pointed at the AARP members as orders to surrender peacefully came from muffled voices. A woman parted the sea of hazmat suits, and pointed to Reba.
“I, Linda Vasquez, shall be the one to dissect the last Martian!” Her eyes were tinted with blood lust.
“RUN!” Reba screeched as she jumped onto the table. Her camouflage disappeared and two giant neck frills shot out from the sides of her lizard’s face.
Reba the Lizard Queen first appeared in Owl Light News on August 10, 2018. The start to this story can be found at https://www.owllightnews.com/reba-the-lizard-queen/