The Light Lens: What?!

by T. Touris –

A number of years ago a yellow-naped Amazon parrot joined our family. This pretty bird, originally named Curly, was presciently renamed by my kids to Papi Chulo, which basically means ladies’ man. He immediately took to my daughter, falling in love with her while bopping on her shoulder to the sounds of Bob Marley.

On my son’s shoulder, Papi preferred biting to bopping. After administering an unwanted ear piercing, the males in the household quickly learned to steer clear of Papi’s lethal beak. For a blissful period, Papi ruled the roost and enjoyed the company of his chosen human mate. Then, like star-crossed lovers in some avian pulp romance novel, Papi was separated from his true love. My daughter struck out on her own, living in nests too small to accommodate a large parrot whose vocabulary consists only of very loudly spoken “WHAT?” and “HELLO”.

Finally, this past year the couple was re-united (cue the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack). Papi was ecstatic with his new digs in my daughter’s spacious new apartment. So, Papi and his true love lived happily ever … (cue the needle dragging over the record).  Wait, “WHAT?!” Who is this male human cohabitant in the apartment?! “HELLO?” this wasn’t part of the deal!

The human male partner is now considering seeking an order of protection from Papi who has become increasingly aggressive and protective of his love.

Keep checking the crime blotter for further developments on this story.