Light Lens: A letter to Santa

Dear Santa:

On or about December 25, 2018, you did willfully and illegally enter multiple residences, primarily via the chimney flue, during which you caused the release of toxic levels of creosote into said homes.

You knowingly deposited items made by illegal Elven labor. These items, placed beneath various trees and potted ferns, caused mass traumatic child disappointment and parental stress.

Furthermore, we have evidence retrieved from surveillance video, of your abusive treatment of reindeer. As you well know, these animals are incapable of flying without excessive and potentially lethal performance enhancing drugs. Accordingly, we have passed this information along to the Animal Protective Agency.

You are hereby ordered to cease and desist from any future activities pending further investigation and possible legal action.

Thank you and have a Happy New Year.